


The Fragility Of A Heart

by 50251sid



Category: The Borgias
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Love, Friendship, Organized Crime, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:09:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50251sid/pseuds/50251sid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Borgia Family as seen through the eyes of Lucrezia's close friend</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fragility Of A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reissuance of a work I had previously posted and then took down for some tweaking. Hey, it's my first effort. Cut a newbie a break.

 

_People love, and people falter._

_People fail and people sin._

_Human hearts are fragile vessels,_

_With walls as thin as human skin._

 

From the moment I met Lucrezia Borgia on her first day at Valencia School, we became inseparable friends with the kind of intense bonds that only twelve year old girls are capable of forming.

With her carefully brushed hair and her flawless skin and her manicured nails, Lucrezia was clearly a cherished princess.  Her oxblood penny loafers were shined and her clothing beautifully coordinated and understated.  A simple gold bangle adorned her wrist. She was burnished, polished perfection.

I noticed the tiny teary eyed blonde waif standing frozen with fear among the noisily milling students making their way in the chaotic hallway prior to the start of classes.  My heart went out to her.

“Hi, I’m Kerry Willis. You must be new here. Are you lost?”

“I’m Lucrezia Borgia.  I just started sixth grade.  My first class is American History and I don’t know where to go.”

“Well, that’s my first class too. Come on and walk with me.”

Lucrezia’s smile was endearing.  “Thank you so much.  I was really beginning to get scared.”

As we made our way through the throng of students heading for their classes, we became acquainted.  Lucrezia had previously attended a private all-girls school, but her parents were now permitting her to go to Valencia where her brother Cesare and her cousin Micheletto were upperclassmen and could look out for her. 

“They drove me to school with them, but then they had to go to their own classes so they left me in the hallway,” Lucrezia pouted.  “They told me where my class was, but I got lost anyway. They’re supposed to take care of me, and they didn’t.”

 “Do they always look after you?”

“Well, my brother has all my life. My cousin Micheletto came to live with us three years ago. He’s my dad’s nephew and his mom thought he would be better off with us.  He kept getting into trouble since his dad died.  Now he takes care of me too.”

“Wow! Don’t they get in your business, though? Keep you from doing what you want?”

“Oh, no.  They make me feel safe.  Usually.  Until today.”

“Well, you’re safe now.  I’ll make sure you get to all your classes ok.”

 

After American History dismissed, we began planning our next class change.  A sudden drop in decibel level and an accompanying scattering of bodies to either side of the hallway made me look up.  A young man was approaching, striding for all the world like royalty moving among peasants.  In his upper teens, over six feet tall, with the carriage and bearing of the supremely self-confident , even perhaps arrogant.  His dark hair swung lushly to his broad shoulders and framed a face of staggering beauty. Narcissus, surely, from the Greek myth.  He was followed, like an afterthought, by an auburn haired teenager of similar height and build who displayed nothing of the stage presence of his companion, but skulked along with his head down. They both seemed oblivious to the surreptitious glances and whispers thrown their way. _“Organized crime family….torched his shop…broke his arm…scary crazy.”_

Lucrezia’s ivory skin flushed rosy with pleasure. 

“Here are Cesare and Micheletto now, Kerry. Come and meet them.”

 “We’ve just come to check on you, Sis. Looks like you made it to your first class all right.” The dark-haired speaker pulled Lucrezia to his side and bent to kiss the top of her head. 

“No thanks to you and Micheletto, Cesare.  I got lost. This is Kerry Willis. She rescued me.”

Cesare turned his smile to me and I was suddenly immobilized. Deer in the headlights. Sitting duck.  Road kill.

“Kerry!”  The voice was low and caressing. “Thank you for taking care of my sister. I won’t forget your kindness.” Spoken like a prince. _Noblesse Oblige_.  

I looked up (way, way up, for he was at least a foot taller than I) into the face of pure masculine beauty and I _giggled_.  Nothing would come from my mouth but a stupid giggle.  _God!_

He had the decency not to laugh at me, but instead gently stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.  “You’re a very pretty girl.” he said.  “I hope we’ll see you again soon.”

I started to shake. And continued to giggle.   _God, kill me now._

“Kerry,” Lucrezia touched my arm. “This is my cousin, Micheletto Corella. Micheletto, Kerry.”

Micheletto merely nodded, radiating a standoffish vibe completely opposite to Cesare’s intimate, inclusive warmth.  His face, although handsome, was without expression. Like a stone.

I tried to smile a greeting.

“Do you think you’ll be able to find the rest of your classes, Lucrezia?” Cesare asked.

I finally managed a squeaky “I’ll make sure she does.” 

“That’s so nice of you, Kerry.  Sis, we’ll meet you on the front steps at the end of the day.  Wait a minute. Kerry, how do you get home? Would you like a ride? “

Panic. Pure pants-wetting panic.

“Um..that’s ok.  I can walk.  It’s not too far. Besides, it might be out of your way.”

“Least we can do.  We’ll meet the two of you at the front steps. Come on, Cuz.  Gotta go.”

Lucrezia turned to me with an understanding smile.

“He has that effect on everyone.  Don’t feel dumb.”

 

I began spending nearly every day after school at Lucrezia’s house, being driven there in a late-model Cadillac by Micheletto, with whom I sat in front.  Cesare and Lucrezia occupied the back seat, their heads very close together, whispering and laughing softly, oblivious to our presence.  Between Micheletto and me, there was awkward silence.  Well, I felt awkward.  Micheletto didn’t seem to notice.

Mrs. Borgia, beautiful and gracious, welcomed me warmly and made me feel truly wanted in her home.  When she spoke kindly to me, asking me about my parents, my three brothers, my plans for higher education, she seemed genuinely interested.  “Please call me Aunt Vannozza,” she told me, and I did, easily, for she behaved toward me as a loving and concerned relative. She gave much of her time to charitable works through her church. “Mom likes you, Kerry”, Lucrezia told me.  “She thinks it’s good for me to have a girlfriend outside the family.  She thinks you have sense and perspective.” _What?  I’m a stupid little kid with absolutely no class or refinement._

Lucrezia and I did our homework together and hung out listening to music and exchanging girl talk.  I learned that Mr. Borgia (Uncle Rodrigo, with courtly old-world manners and a rich, velvety voice) was some kind of high-powered businessman.  He obviously made a lot of money and provided fabulously for his family.  Lucrezia said he imported products from Italy and Spain. Cesare and Micheletto helped out and were to join the company full time after college.  The Borgias lived in a sprawling house furnished with quiet elegance in a gated community.  The grounds were patrolled by security personnel with guard dogs.  My youthful sensibilities were dazzled by all this opulence. I was strictly lower middle class with a discount store point of view and minimal expectations.  Lucrezia’s expectations, on the other hand, were high indeed.  Having always been treated like a great prize, she accepted her family’s extravagant affection and devoted attention as her due.  She simply expected to be protected and looked after.  She was really sweet natured, but carried herself with a sense of entitlement of which she was totally unaware.  I came to realize that, in spite of her beauty and sweetness, Lucrezia didn’t have many friends.  Actually, I was just about her only friend outside of her family, and I really didn’t know why. This whole situation had such an air of unreality, like something from a teen fantasy magazine that I was dropped into inexplicably.

Seventeen year old Cesare made my preteen heart thump within my chest.  He invaded my dreams. He haunted my thoughts.  I ached for him. I yearned for him.  I hungered for him. He treated me with the same graciousness that his parents displayed toward me, always greeting me warmly and noticing a new hair style or article of clothing.  Once he even mentioned seeing a drawing of mine displayed in the school hallway and complimented me on my artistic talent.  This attention caused me both delight and anguish because it made me want him all the more and made me all the more aware of both our age difference and what I saw as my complete lack of desirability to someone like him.  He was gallant, a suave older man merely being kind to a little girl.  _Noblesse Oblige_. 

It didn’t help when Lucrezia told me about all the young ladies Cesare dated.  Scores of them.  _Hundreds_ of them.  Well, not hundreds, maybe, but it seemed so.  All beauties with creamy skin and toned figures. Not shapeless little kids with stringy hair and clumsy hands that dropped or spilled or knocked over everything.  I was hopeless.  Better I should be in love with Narcissus. I had about the same shot with him.

To Micheletto fell the task of driving me home every evening after dinner.  I couldn’t imagine it was any fun for him, but he never gave me the impression that he was impatient or resentful.  Actually, he didn’t give me the impression of much of anything except the Sphinx.  He spoke very little, even during lively conversations around the dinner table, so I was able to learn nothing about his interests.  Or even if he had them.  I did notice that he took his cues from his cousin, moving in concert with him, but always one step behind. Micheletto orbited Cesare like a moon. 

 

My parents were not crazy about my friendship with Lucrezia. They had heard rumors about the Borgia family, along the lines of those whispers that flew about in the school hallway. _Organized crime.  Drugs. Loan Sharking. Gambling. Thugs. Danger._

“Dad, Mum,” I insisted.  “They’re nice!  They go to church. They listen to _opera_ on the stereo. They don’t smoke or swear. They only drink wine at dinner. Lucrezia is a perfect lady. She doesn’t go anywhere without her big brother. They treat me like I’m somebody! Those rumors can’t be true.  People are just jealous because they have money, that’s all.”

They weren’t convinced, but knew the futility of trying to forbid my friendship with the Borgias.  They hoped it would burn itself out quickly.

It didn’t.

The Borgias could be generous friends.  I was the dazzled recipient of fabulous birthday and Christmas gifts and was invited to accompany them on vacations I could have only dreamed of.  Extravagant trips to foreign locales. (I had to get a passport!) New travel wardrobes. Ballet classes with Lucrezia. Jewelry.  In my adolescent selfishness, I did not realize how this must have made my parents and brothers feel.  I was having the time of my life, and my life was the only one that interested me.

Being known as a friend of the Borgia family had its benefits too.  Whether I was with them or on my own, I now seemed to inspire the same level of awe and deference that they commanded at school.  The same behind-the-hand whispers.  I began to strut.

 

Cesare and Micheletto were now college men.  Uncle Rodrigo couldn’t spare them from helping run the business, so they attended a local university together.  Lucrezia and I were fourteen and in the eighth grade. By this time, I had reached five feet four inches in height, but Lucrezia was still tiny, barely an inch over five feet.  We had long ago begun wearing bras and gotten our monthlies.  Sharing all these changes had deepened our friendship to an even more intense and intimate level.

Lucrezia had been given permission to attend a church youth dance, provided, of course that Cesare and Micheletto escorted her.  And me.  We eagerly primped and groomed for the occasion, our first as Young Ladies. A planned sleepover was icing on the cake.

As usual, Micheletto drove, with me beside him.  In the back, Lucrezia snuggled up to her brother, who  gently stroked her soft blonde hair and told her she was beautiful.  Which she was.  Beautiful. Polished. Perfect. Like the girls Cesare dated.  There might as well have been a privacy screen between the front and back seat, because the siblings were focused solely on each other.  I was used to this by now, but this was my debut also and I would have liked some positive reinforcement too.  Forget looking to Micheletto.  I’d have more response from a cardboard standup.

The church hall was decorated with paper streamers. The sound system was tinny.  I managed to persuade a shy Lucrezia to get up and dance with me. I caught a peripheral glimpse of Cesare, poised like a panther, never taking his eyes off his sister. I stopped dancing to go get a cold drink. As Lucrezia was returning to her folding chair, she was approached by a nice-looking boy who appeared to be asking her to dance.  Before he had spoken more than a few words, the boy was confronted by a fast-moving Cesare, whose smile, although dazzling, was a snarl.  I could see the poor kid wilt and slink back to his companions.  Yikes!  While I stood holding my cup of punch and processing the scene that had just played out before me, I was blindsided by a newly-arrived boy who attempted to strike up a conversation with me.  Involuntarily, I glanced over at the Borgias and saw Micheletto begin to stand up until Cesare put a restraining hand on his arm.  Micheletto said something but Cesare gave a curt head shake “No.” 

The Borgia protectiveness apparently didn’t extend to me. 

Later, _Noblesse Oblige_ , Cesare asked me to slow dance with him.  “Having fun, Kerry?”

He pulled me close to him and smiled down at me. _God, please don’t let me pee my pants.  Please don’t let me start to shake.  Please don’t let my hands sweat. Please God, please oh please oh please…._

“Um ….I guess.  I don’t know what I expected from my first dance.”

“Lucrezia’s first dance too.  Well, we need to do something better to make it special for you.”

He took my (sweaty) hand and pulled me from the dance floor.  “Lucrezia. Micheletto. How about we cut out of here and go someplace fun?”

_Exeunt._

We wound up at an under-21 club with pounding music and a sizzling vibe.  Illuminated by pulsing colored lights, Cesare led Lucrezia and me out onto the dance floor where we scattered our inhibitions and went laughing, barking mad.  After awhile, I thought to look for Micheletto, who sat alone at a table, his club soda untouched. 

I shouted over the soundtrack. “Cesare, won’t Micheletto dance too?”

“Oh, no.  He doesn’t like to. He’s fine. Really.”

After a bit, I said I needed to sit down and went over to Micheletto’s table.  Lucrezia moved closer to her brother and flung her arms around his neck.

“You can’t be having much fun, Micheletto.”

“I’m fine.”

“Want some company?”

“Sure.”

Micheletto studied the floor tiles. 

Dammit!

I’m not sure where my own boldness came from, but I think at that moment I had finally admitted to and had enough of Cesare’s complete disregard of his cousin. 

“Micheletto, would you mind taking me outside for a minute? This loud music is giving me a headache.”

He stood up and escorted me through the crowd and out the door.  The cool night air startled me and I began to shiver. 

“Let’s go sit in the car. You’ll be warmer there.” That was probably the most  Micheletto had ever spoken to me.

Micheletto fetched a light blanket from the trunk and draped it over me when I was curled into the passenger’s seat. 

“Are you cold too, Micheletto? Want to share the blanket with me?”

“I’m fine.” He got into the driver’s seat and shut the door.

“You always say you’re fine. Even when Cesare keeps you waiting and waiting for him.  Doesn’t it bother you that he can be so inconsiderate?”

“He isn’t really.”

“It sure looks that way. Like he thinks you have no feelings.”

“Maybe I don’t.”

“Of course you do. Everyone does.”

“Not me.  I’m dead inside. I’m a stone.”

Again startled by my own boldness, I pressed my hand to his chest. 

“You’re _not_ dead inside. You have a heart. I feel it beat.”

“Maybe it only beats for you.”

I turned my face away to try to hide my blush. 

“Micheletto, don‘t make fun of me.  I really care about you.”

What the hell was fourteen-year-old me doing speaking so to a man five years older than myself? What an idiot I must have sounded like! I may have groaned out loud…I’m not sure.

Micheletto smiled _. He smiled_!

“You’re sweet.  But really, I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

Micheletto got out of the car and came around and opened the passenger door for me. Perhaps as a conciliatory gesture for my mortification, he held out his hand to me.

“Come, my lady.”

His hand was strong, rough and calloused.  Exactly like the hands of my brother who practiced martial arts.  Ah!  A clue to Micheletto’s secret life.  (Mental note: _Ask him about it. See if it might even start a conversation_.)

I was surprised that Cesare had noticed our absence, but I shouldn’t have been.  He noticed everything.

Grinning, he elbowed Micheletto’s ribs. “Where have you two been, Cuz?”

“Kerry was getting a headache from the loud music. We went outside to give her a break.”

“And did he cure your headache, Kerry?” Cesare raised his eyebrows suggestively.

My lips were a compressed line.  “I’m fine.”

The evening ended shortly after that.  It was late by then and the debutantes were tired.  We drove home as we had begun the evening, Cesare cradling Lucrezia in his arms in the back seat and Micheletto and I sitting miles and miles apart up front.  I studied the passing landscape diligently all the way. 

But as Micheletto was helping me from the car, he bowed slightly, pressed his free hand to his chest and smiled at me.

What the hell was that?

 

From that time on, when the four of us were out together, Micheletto began to intercept boys who tried to approach me. It was always the four of us, none other.  I observed, but didn’t really care, that neither Lucrezia nor I had ever been asked on a date, gone to a prom or participated in any activity outside the presence of Cesare and Micheletto.  BFD. I hadn’t missed a thing.

 

Micheletto began to open up to me, telling me about his mother, so cruelly abused by his late father that mother and son were relieved when the man died of a heart attack at age fifty three.  Micheletto had come in for his share of paternal maltreatment too and had a broken nose and chipped teeth to prove it.  He had gotten in with a bad crowd and wound up with a juvenile arrest record at age fourteen for fighting, vandalism and petty theft.  That was when he came to live with his Uncle Rodrigo.  Aunt Vannozza saw to it that his broken nose and teeth were properly mended.  A fish out of water in the elegant Borgia household, Micheletto latched onto Cesare, glittering Cesare, as his example.  Cesare found Micheletto’s physical toughness and fighting ability useful and encouraged him to study martial arts. Still unable to believe that anyone could truly care for him, Micheletto was humbly grateful to be allowed to follow in Cesare’s train.

_Cesare._   Micheletto idolized him.  And Cesare used that devotion as a club with which to belittle and taunt Micheletto.  Perhaps it gratified him to push around this man who was physically so much stronger than he.  To probe for cracks in that stony façade.  Maybe he liked doing it simply because Micheletto made it so easy for him.

My crush on Cesare vanished like frost in the sunshine.  He may have had the face of Narcissus, but that dazzling smile could turn in a second and become something chilling.  Particularly when he was smiling at Micheletto.  Was I the only one who could see this?

Aunt Vannozza remarked approvingly that I had been good for Micheletto.  He smiled a lot more and he even joined in conversations.  Much less guarded, he appeared to be coming out of his shell.

 

“Kerry, I have to tell you something about me.  I’ve done things.  I _do_ things. For my uncle, for his business.  Sometimes terrible things.  You’re a nice girl.  I really like you. You shouldn’t have to know about any of this but I want to tell you the truth.”

“So is it true, what I heard about the Borgias?  Are they gangsters?”

“Uncle Rodrigo has business interests that are…not exactly within the law.”

 “Micheletto, you’re a good person.  I can’t believe anything bad about you.  I _won’t_ believe.”

“My aunt and uncle have been good to me, Kerry.  I owe them. They took me out of nothing and gave me so much.  They clothed and educated me.  They paid to have my nose fixed!” 

“Micheletto, that’s just common _decency_.  You deserve that.  Anyone deserves that.”  

“You don’t know, Kerry.  You can’t know.  If it weren’t for my uncle, I’d probably be in jail or dead by now. “

“So he makes you do terrible things for him in return?  Things you hate?”

“Well, up until now, I didn’t hate it.  Never really thought about it.  I told you.  I’m a stone. Except when I’m around you.”

 “So maybe I’m not so good for you to be around if I make you question what you feel you have to do.”

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t touch you.”

‘I want to believe you.”

 

But I was sixteen now and, I hope, a little smarter. I could no longer lie to myself about the true source of the Borgia’s wealth.  Uncle Rodrigo, graceful, courtly, kindly, actually was the head of a crime family.  Cesare, of course, was the heir apparent, and Micheletto was being groomed to be his enforcer.  Lucrezia still insisted that her father was a businessman.  I didn’t argue with her. She needed to believe in her doting daddy. 

My own home and my own family no longer faded in comparison with Lucrezia’s.  What we had, we came by honestly.  I began to spend more time at my own home and to appreciate my family a lot more.

But I still remained close to the Borgias. Moth to flame, I guess.

 

The Borgias were celebrating Micheletto’s twenty-first birthday in their usual style.  For someone as shy as he was, it had to be agony.  The large party took place in the banquet room of an Italian restaurant which was hired for the evening.  There was an elegant dinner, with a smooth jazz band playing music.  Micheletto wore a suit instead of his usual jeans and leather jacket.  His necktie appeared to be choking him.

His mother had been flown in for the celebration, and was seated on his left. Micheletto shyly introduced me to her and insisted on having me sit on his right. He kept his eyes on his plate during dinner, but stunned me when he silently reached over and took my hand in his.  And continued to hold it all through the speeches which followed.  His mother spoke touchingly of her pride in her son, about to graduate from college and already working in his uncle’s business.  Cesare poked gentle fun at his cousin but revealed an unexpected depth of genuine affection.  I think Micheletto was as surprised as I was. 

Lucrezia suddenly demanded that I say something.  Mortified, I tried to refuse, but everyone began to insist.  Under the table, I gently disengaged my hand from Micheletto’s and stood up. 

“Micheletto, I have known you since I was twelve years old and you have always been my hero. Inside of you beats the heart of a noble man.”

I sat down abruptly, unable to look at Micheletto.  Amid the applause and delighted exclamations, he leaned over to me and whispered “Thank you”, and kissed my cheek.  He came away tasting the salty tear which had dropped from my eye.

I belonged to Micheletto from that moment.

 

Micheletto’s rich red hair was one of my favorite things about him.  He had always kept it severely short, buzz-cut, but now he began to grow it out.  One day, at the dinner table, Cesare remarked on Micheletto’s new appearance.

“So, Cuz, letting the hair grow, huh? Giving your woman something to run her fingers through?”

Micheletto ducked his head and did not reply.  He could have flung Cesare’s wisecrack back at him, taunting him for his own shoulder-length hair, but he didn’t. I doubt it even occurred to him.

When Micheletto picked me up after school the next day, his hair was sheared back to its former crew cut. 

“I like it better this way.”

_Damn that Cesare!_

“Micheletto, if this is what you really want, it’s fine with me. Just so it’s what _you_ want.”

“It is.”

My lip quivered, but I managed a smile. 

 

Micheletto and I had been together for a few months when the restlessness set in.  I knew he loved me intensely, but had made no move to intensify our physical relationship.  His kisses remained closed mouthed.  His embraces were tight, but chaste.  I figured I would have to make the first move.

We had gone out for dinner on a Saturday evening.  Aunt had dragged Uncle to one of her charity affairs and Cesare had taken Lucrezia to a movie.  Knowing we would be alone, I asked Micheletto to take me back to the Borgia house.  We went upstairs to his room and I kicked off my shoes and stretched out across his bed. (Could this be _me_ , playing the siren?)  Micheletto stood by the window on the other side of the room. A bedside lamp provided soft illumination.

“Micheletto, I have something I want to give you, if you want to have it.”

“What’s that?”

“My virginity.”

Micheletto jumped as if he had touched a live wire.

“Be serious.”

“I am.  I love you.  I want to belong to you.  Don’t you want that too?”

“Sure, but… a virgin!”

“I want to be all yours. Cesare always needles you about keeping your woman happy.  Well, your woman wants this.”

“I’m not sure I’d know what to do.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, sure I’ve had sex, but I’ve never made love.”

“I’m pleased that you see the distinction.  Now you can do both, with me.”

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid. Come closer, Micheletto.  Sit beside me.”

He approached as if wading into quicksand.

I caressed his face.  I kissed his mouth. I ran my hands over his chest and shoulders. _I had NO idea what I was doing._  

“Make love to me, Micheletto,” I whispered.

It seemed to be working.  He kissed me, softly at first but then more eagerly.

He murmured my name. He called me his Baby.  I pulled off my top and tossed it across the room.  Micheletto froze, staring at my bra. (Anticipating the occasion, I had donned a lacy model that was having the desired effect.) I took his hand and placed it on my breast. 

“Touch me, Micheletto.  You can. I belong to you.”

His hand was tentative, trembling.  “I’ve wanted this…”

I reached back and unhooked my bra, letting it fall from me.  I heard Micheletto’s sharp intake of breath.

For the rest of my life, I would remember the little cry he made as he pulled me close and began to kiss my breasts. 

I was just a woman; a girl really, barely a woman, yet this powerful man was becoming unstrung over me, letting down his guard and giving over to trust me.  The giving of his trust was to me a much more precious gift than the surrender of my virginity to him.  And it probably was going to hurt a lot more.

He stood up abruptly and yanked off his pullover.  It occurred to me at that moment that I had never seen his unclothed body.  He was lean but deeply muscled, his stomach hard and flat.  Here and there, small old white scars marred his pale skin.  “It’s nothing.  Some knife fights when I was a kid, that’s all. Just fooling around.” He unbuckled his thick leather belt.

“ _Knife_ fights? Micheletto, for God’s sake! What have you been through?”

“That’s all over now, my Baby. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You matter.” 

“To you? I know.”

His jeans now followed his pullover to the floor and he sat back down beside me.

Soon we were lying on the bed together, kissing and caressing each other.  I didn’t know how much time we were supposed to spend doing this, but Micheletto didn’t appear to be bored.  I was fascinated with his beautiful small nipples.  How strange that men should have them too, and that they should be so sensitive.  His chest was smooth with a small patch of red hair in the center, which I stroked.

“Just over your heart.”

“My armor.  From everything except you.”

He moved to pull off my slacks, and my panties inadvertently came off with them. 

“Are you ready to be naked, Kerry?”

“God, yes!”

Feeling for the first time a man’s hand between my legs caused my eyes to widen and the breath to catch in my throat.  Before I realized it, I had locked my hand over his and, to Micheletto’s delighted surprise, pressed it down hard.

 “Micheletto, wait, wait.  I want to look at you.”

I rose up on one elbow and gazed down at his long frame beside me on the bed.  My hand followed my eyes, stroking and caressing.  When I reached his cock, I gasped in delight at the feel of it. 

Micheletto smiled shyly.  “Do I please my lady?”

We pleased each other for a long time.  When my heart thumped so hard that I could barely breathe, I thought it may be about time to move to the next level.

“Are you sure, Kerry? Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”

“Dammit, Micheletto. I’m sure.  Are you?”

“Oh, I want to.  I do want to.  But you’re a virgin.  Are you sure you want to throw that away on me?”

Tears sprang to my eyes and dropped from my cheeks. 

_“Is it so hard for you to believe that you’re worthy of love?”_

I kissed him then, fiercely, and pressed my body hard against his. 

He got up from the bed and crossed the room to his dresser where he fumbled through his underwear drawer.

“I don’t do this an awful lot, so I don‘t remember how old this is, but it should suffice.”

He showed me a condom wrapper. 

“I take it you aren’t on the Pill or anything, are you?  So we need to use protection.”

“Oh, my God, I hadn’t even thought of that.  Taking care of me again, as usual.”

He showed me how to help put the condom on him, and we both enjoyed the intimate act. 

“Don’t be nervous, Micheletto.  You won’t hurt me.”

“Well, not on purpose, but….”

I lay back down.  “I’m not afraid. I want you.”

He caressed me between my legs again until my ragged breathing assured him of my intense arousal, then carefully lowered his body onto mine.  My thighs parted to let him settle between them.  And then he entered me.  Very slowly, very, very slowly.  He pushed himself up with his forearms so that he could watch my face for any sign of discomfort. 

I had read the books. I knew this should hurt. That I should bleed.

 It didn’t hurt. I didn’t bleed. 

Some bicycle crossbar or jungle gym mishap must have long ago done away with any natural barrier I may have ever had.  And I was so aroused, so wet, and Micheletto so tender that all I felt was delight and discovery and rockets in my head and fire in my pelvis.  I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips and bucked and rocked against him in complete abandon. 

“Let go, Micheletto.  Let go.” He did.  He bent his arms and pressed down onto me.

His gentle thrusts turned fierce and sharp and his breath came in harsh gasps that excited me beyond all reason.  As his passion grew, so did the size of his cock.  To my surprise and joy, I felt, deep at the base of his penis, a hard twitch, like a car kicking into gear, and then he came.  He let out a short, sharp cry, like it was wrung from him. _“MINE!”_

We remained locked together for a long time, kissing and embracing and taking in what had just happened.  Finally, he withdrew from me and carefully removed the condom, wrapping it in a tissue. He let me wipe his cock off with a tissue also.  I felt so bold, moving right in on his body to take possession. _Mine, too._

We exchanged murmurs of affection and kissed over and over again.  He caressed my breasts.  I stroked his back _. Please God, let this moment never end._

Micheletto stood up from the bed, grinning.  “I have to go to the bathroom, and then we need to get down to the drugstore.”

“The drugstore?”

“Oh, yeah.  We’re going to need a lot more condoms!”

 

“Kerry, I have to tell you a secret. A _super_ secret.”

Lucrezia’s eyes were the size of serving platters.  She was obviously agitated and nervous.

“What, honey? You’re scaring me.  What happened?”

“Cesare and I” (her voice dropped to a whisper) “ _did it.”_

“Did what?”

“IT.  You know.  _Sex.”_

“ _What_?”

“Cesare got jealous when Micheletto told him that he had slept with you, and..”

“Micheletto told Cesare that? Oh my god!”

“Well, why not? They tell each other everything. Like we do.  You told _me_ when you did it with Micheletto.”

“Sure, but I didn’t expect guys to tell secrets like girls do.”

“Anyway, Cesare got jealous and figured that if Micheletto could sleep with you, then he could sleep with the woman he wanted.”

“And that woman was you?”

“Yes.”

“Lucrezia, did he _rape_ you?”

“Of course not.  I wanted to. I really did.  All my life, I guess. I just didn’t know that Cesare felt the same way.”

I shook my head.  Why hadn’t I seen this coming?  It was so obvious in retrospect.  For Lucrezia’s entire life, Cesare had been there, blotting out every other thing for her but himself. She had never had the chance to even notice any other man. Of course she would have grown to want him and only him. Cesare had seen to that.

“Are you in love with him?”

“Yes. I guess.  It’s so complicated!  I mean, it’s not like we can be together like you and Micheletto can.  But it was so amazing making love with him. It felt _right_. Natural. So I guess I do love him.  Sex is part of that, isn’t it?”

“It should be.  But Cesare is your _brother_.”

“He’s not like other people, Kerry.  He lives by his own rules.  He always has.  He’s so strong.  He overwhelms me.  I can’t imagine being with anyone but him. Like you feel about Micheletto.”

She had me there. 

“Lucrezia, I don’t know what to say other than that I get what you are saying and I love you and trust you.  If Cesare is what you must have to make you happy, then go be happy with him.  Just be careful. Most people wouldn’t understand.”

She hugged me.

“I love you, Kerry. I knew you’d give us your blessing.”

 

A few days later, Micheletto and I were sitting alone on the back deck of my parents’ house, drinking iced tea and talking quietly.

Micheletto asked me to marry him.  He was sweet and shy and actually got down on one knee. My heart melted.

“Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, I will marry you!” I began to cry and caressed his cheek.

He stood up and took from his pocket a jewelry box that he opened for me. 

“I hope you like this.  I’m not too good at picking out such things.”

He was offering me the biggest diamond I had ever seen –obscenely big, even tacky. A heart-shaped  solitaire, it looked like an ice cube.

“My god, Micheletto!  Is it real?”

“Yes, it’s real.  If you don’t like it, I’ll get you a bigger one. This one weighs …”

“Stop. Stop. I don’t want to know how big it is.  I am just stunned.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  This must have cost you a fortune. I just don’t feel right that you spent so much money on me.”

He slipped the ring onto my finger, making my hand drop from the weight of it.

“Is it so hard for you to believe that you’re worthy of love?” ( _Ouch!)_ “Whenever you look at it, just imagine it’s my heart that I’ve given you.”

We decided to be married immediately after school ended for the summer.  I would return for my senior year and maybe even go on to college. My parents were not pleased at the idea that I would be married so young, but they didn’t try to dissuade me.  We would have a very small ceremony and reception.  More than that would be too much for Micheletto’s shyness. I just wanted to be his wife.  That was all I needed.

The Borgias had other ideas, of course, grandiose ones.  They were delighted when we told them of our engagement and wanted to give us an enormous wedding. It was hard to resist Aunt Vannozza’s loving, smothering kindness, but Micheletto held firm. 

“Kerry doesn’t want a big deal. It’s her decision.”

“Honestly, Aunt Vannozza.  I don’t want a big splash.  I just want to marry Micheletto. “

That seemed to charm and appease her, but she insisted on giving us an extravagant honeymoon trip to Hawaii and the Far East. 

“And, of course, you will live here with us when you get back.  We can remodel Micheletto’s room or even build you a townhouse on the property if you would prefer.  It’s wonderful!” She hugged me warmly and kissed me. “We are your Aunt and Uncle for real now, Darling.”

Uncle Rodrigo, ever courtly and gallant, kissed my hand.  Lucrezia tearfully embraced me.  Cesare bent and kissed my cheek and called me “Cuz.”

 

“Lucrezia.”  I knocked twice on the bedroom door and then pushed it open.

“Kerry, no!  Don’t come in!” Cesare’s frantic voice stopped me cold. Too late.

Lucrezia, topless, was sitting on the side of her bed with Cesare facing her, standing between her parted thighs.  His jeans were pushed down and he was gripping her shoulders.  Her face was level with his crotch.

“Oh God, I am so sorry,” I stammered, backing out and slamming the door.

“It’s all right, Cesare,” I heard Lucrezia say. “She knows.”

 

“Can you and Cesare ever forgive me? I am such an idiot.”

“It wasn’t your fault.  I forgot to lock the door.  Cesare was embarrassed, of course, but he’ll get over it.  I told him you knew about us and were fine with it. We do it all the time now.  He can’t seem to get enough.  I’m not complaining, believe me.  I can’t get enough of him either. Sometimes I even ask him for it.  He likes that, says it lets him know I love him. Talk to him, Kerry. Tell him you’re okay with us.”

 

“Cesare, I know you’re embarrassed. I’m embarrassed too.  Please forgive me.”

“Lucrezia said that she told you about us.  I love her, Cuz.  Always have.  I know it’s not what brothers are supposed to feel, but that’s what it is. I’m not just screwing around, being a pervert.  I really do love her.”

“And she loves you too.” I picked my words delicately, afraid of saying too much.

 “I know my parents don’t suspect, or I’d be dead. Do you think it’s obvious to anyone else?”

“Probably not.  I only really knew for sure because Lucrezia told me.”

Cesare smiled.

 

“Micheletto is going to be busy doing something for me this evening, Cuz.  I’ll drive you to the library.”

“Cesare, are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you.  I would go another night, but I really have to do some research for the report I’m working on for school.  It’s a big part of my grade and it’s due next week. “

“Happy to.  Micheletto’s doing me a big favor, so I’m glad to drive you in his place.”

“Okay then. Thanks.  What time should I be ready?”

“How about seven thirty?  It still gets dark pretty early. I don’t want you to be out too late.” 

“I’ll be ready. I’m just going to go get my backpack and talk to Micheletto a bit before I leave.”

I ran upstairs and into Micheletto’s room.

 

“Let me make love to you right now, Kerry. I really need to.” Micheletto’s voice was a raspy whisper.

“Micheletto, I’m only going to the library for about an hour.  We can make love when I get back, take all the time we want.”

“Please, Baby.  Now.  I have to feel right now that you are mine.”

“Of course, I’m yours.  Micheletto, what’s wrong?  You seem like your heart is breaking.”

“I love you so much. Sometimes it does feel like my heart might break from all the love it has to hold.”

How peculiar.  He was so impassioned, pleading with me to accept him. How could I refuse? 

He embraced me tightly, desperately, as if he wanted to fuse my body into his.  I would have been frightened at his intensity if he hadn‘t been my Micheletto, my beautiful, tender lover.  His kisses devoured me, covered every inch of my body, as if he was imprinting its image to his memory.  He was inside me before I realized he was not using protection, but we were both beyond stopping at that point.  If something happened, what the hell..we would be married in less than a month. Actually, it was thrilling to receive his unencumbered love, and by the way he trembled, I could tell it was the same for him. When I felt the delicious secret twitch that announced his coming, I cried out loudly and pulled him deeper into me, greedily demanding from him all he had to give me.  He collapsed onto me with what sounded like a sob. 

After several sweet moments, he disengaged from me.

“I love you, my Baby.”

I caught his hand and kissed it. 

“Micheletto, I am yours.  I belong to you. You are in my heart forever.”

“Look at me, Kerry.”  Micheletto took my face between his hands and stared intently into my eyes.  “I want you to remember this.  Your love is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  You made me alive.  You _are_ my heart.”

Still a little shaky from our intense passion, we dressed and I went downstairs to meet Cesare.

 

 

_When Kerry didn’t call to be picked up from the library, her frantic parents filed a missing person’s report with the police and Rodrigo Borgia ordered a massive search for her by his private protection staff._

_Witnesses reported seeing Cesare drop her off at the library steps and then drive away, but the security camera yielded no footage of her entering the building._

_Seven months went by before her body was found, in a garbage dump outside of town.  By then, it was impossible to recover fingerprints, DNA or much of any kind of evidence due to decomposition.  The coroner did determine that she had been killed by a single gunshot wound to the heart. The motive was thought to be robbery, as her engagement ring was missing._

_At Kerry’s funeral, Lucrezia and Vannozza wept uncontrollably and Rodrigo frequently wiped his eyes with his handkerchief. It was remarked that, although Cesare kept a solicitous arm around his cousin through the entire service, Micheletto stared straight ahead, unmoving as a stone._

 


End file.
